The Part of Thirteens

Link: http://flickr.com/photos/8047619@N08/sets/72157600225868569/

Found on actual grave markers I’ve seen while browsing photos on flickr:

1. Remember me as you pass by,
   As you are now so once was I,
   As I am now so shall you be,
   Prepare yourself to follow me.
2. Oops, he died.
3. Exchanged mortality for life.
4. Life how short!
   Eternity how long!
5. Death did to me short warning give,
   Therefore be careful how you live,
   Prepare in time, do not delay,
   For I was quickly called away.
6. Afflictions sore from time I bore
   Physicians were in vain
   Til God was pleased to send me ease
   And free me from my pain.
7. The sprightly youth, ah mournful tale to tell,
   Crushed by a ponderous load which on him fell.
   Awhile he lived oppressed with pain and grief,
   Till heaven the patient sufferer sent relief.
   Death’s icy hand the well blown flower crops,
   And blasts the aged parents future hopes.
8. Tired with traveling through this world of sin,
   At length am come to nature’s common inn,
   In this dark place, here, to rest a night,
   In hopes to rise that Christ may give me light.
9. Ere sin could blight, or sorrow fade,
   Death came with friendly care,
   The opening buds to heaven conveyed,
   And bade them blossom there.
10. Remember Man
    Die thou Must
    After Death
    Return to Dust
11. The waters flowed on every side,
    And there was none to save,
    At last, compelled, I bowed my head,
    And found a watery grave.
12. Kind hearts are more than coronets,
    And simple faith than Norman blood.
13. Go home, dear friends, grieve not to leave us here,
    To lie til Christ to Judgement shall appear.
    On that tremendous day we hope to have,
    A splendid rising from the gloomy grave.
    Then we shall meet again in realms above,
    Where all is joy and peace, all harmony and love.
14. It’s been fun.

“Life Uncertain” photo by Robert Garbett : http://flickr.com/photos/lawntffoto/

1. What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
     A trombone.
2. What do birds give out on Halloween night?
     Tweets.
3. What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?
     Ouch.
4. How do monsters tell their future?
     They read their horrorscope.
5. What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
     Hope it’s Halloween.
6. What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
     A pumpkin patch.
7. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
     Pumpkin pi.
8. What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?
     He was repossessed.
9. How does a girl vampire flirt?
     She bats her eyes.
10. Why did the headless horseman go into business?
      He wanted to get ahead in life.
11. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? 
      A neck-tarine.
12. What is worst than a hungry vampire?
      A thirsty vampire.
13. What is a monsters favorite flavor of jam?
      Boo-berry.

1. Do monsters eat popcorn with their fingers? 
     No, they eat their fingers separately.
2. LITTLE MONSTER: I don’t like my teacher.
     MUMMY MONSTER: Well then, just eat your salad.
3. Why did the zombie stay in his coffin? 
     He felt rotten.
4. Why do skeletons play the piano? 
     They don’t have organs.
5. Who is the best dancer at a monster party? 
     The boogie man.
6. Why don’t zombies have trouble getting dates? 
     They can usually dig someone up.
7. What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music? 
     Wrap!!!
8. Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
     Because they don’t have any body to go out with…
9. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
     They’re so wrapped up in themselves.
10. What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
      Dead ends.
11. What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
      A blood vessel.
12. What type of dog do vampire’s like the best?
      Bloodhounds.
13. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
      A stake sandwich.